Conquering Long Distance

I know I won't be the first person ever to say this, but I'll say it anyway. Long distance relationships can be tough. Personally, I'm not really a fan. In my situation, going from an environment where you see your significant other everyday for a whole school year, to zero face time for the summer can feel a little jarring, especially if you’ve never experienced a long distance relationship before. Long distance was something I went through at the beginning of my college career, and it didn’t end well, so I was a little nervous going into the summer of 2016 knowing that long distance was going to be a reality again.

This summer, the circumstances are a little different for my boyfriend and I, since we now live several states away, with him in Kentucky and myself in Texas. However, having done 3 months apart and still going strong a year and a half into our relationship, I felt a lot more confident and comfortable knowing we were going to go through that again.

Now, I know our circumstances aren’t as bad as others who are working through a long distance relationship. I know people who only get to see they’re significant others a handful of times throughout the year, but they do it so well and I admire them for that. I think I have had a good taste of the ups and downs of a long distance relationship; enough that I feel like I can give a few tips to those who are struggling with it right now, or are new to it altogether.

1. Know how to help them feel loved

I think this is one of the most important things you can do before anything else when going long distance. Find out what makes your significant other feel loved and appreciated, even from far away. Love languages play a large role in this (if you don’t know what your love language is, take the quiz here!). For example, my boyfriend’s love language is quality time, so that tells me that he appreciates undistracted conversation and time together. One way I try to help him with this is regularly Skype-ing and setting aside that time to just talk to each other about what’s going on in our lives, tell funny stories about our days, and so on. Plus, knowing that I’m helping him makes me feel better too. If their love language is gifts, try sending them a letter or a little something in the mail, or if their love language is words of affirmation, sometimes a simple “I love you” is all it takes to brighten their day. Find what helps them feel loved and do that for them.

2. Communication is KEY

Kind of seems like a no brainer, right? It definitely is, but sometimes this can be easier said than done. Finding effective ways to communicate can actually be made easier if you’ve figured out #1. Just finding ways to talk to each other is important and can help make the distance not feel so big. Alex and I Skype at least once a week which gives us time to have a non-text conversation. Texting is usually the main avenue of communication between the two of us, but with both of us working 30+ hours a week and having lives outside of work, sometimes we don’t have as much time as we would like to text or call each other. Being able to see each other’s faces helps us communicate so much more effectively than reading text, and if you are able to use Skype or FaceTime to talk to your significant other, I highly recommend making it a routine.

3. Find something you can do together

This is the tip that you can really take and make your own. This could mean watching a Netflix show at the same time and talking about it together, reading a book and discussing it a chapter at a time, watching movies together (use websites like synaptop.com to do this), and the possibilities are endless. This summer, Alex and I decide to go through a book together chapter by chapter, and we discuss some things we learned during our Skype calls each week. I think it helps the weeks pass by a little quicker, and we are both spending time learning from the book and learning about each other in the process. It gives us something to talk about each week too!

I hope some of these tips can help you on your long distance relationship endeavors! Just know if you are struggling to figure out how to manage those circumstances, you are not alone! Long distance can be hard work and requires a lot of commitment, but it is so rewarding. I believe the well-known statement really is 100% truth, if you are willing to put in the time and effort.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

#life #distance #advice #tips #relationships